Wednesday, 23 July 2014


With Jonny's job being more pressurised; morning sickness {I think it is finally over after six months, hurrah!} and a toddler to run after, it is no wonder the last couple, and a few more, months have been tough.  They have been the kind of lets take each day as it comes because I can't really think about any further forward than that.  To be honest by the end of some days I don't know how I am still standing.

Now I am going to do a disclaimer right now:  I know people go through much more difficult things; I know my life isn't that tough; I am not empathy or sympathy fishing; I just wanted to be real and honest with you.  If you find this post annoying, irritating or offensive, I am sorry that was never my intention.

My second pregnancy seems to have been so much tougher than with Ava and being sick with Ava for six months wasn't a walk in the park.  It just seems everything has stepped up all at the same time and to be honest at times I have found it overwhelming especially as so much of it is beyond my control.

But with a holiday round the corner and this pregnancy heading nearer and nearer to the business end I just want to soak up these last three or four months with Ava as being an only child.  I want to try and make the most of it by doing special things together and also for Jonny and I to have some time together in the calm before the storm.

These days though a lot of the time all I feel is guilt.  Guilt for a whole host of things that make me feel like I am not succeeding and doing as much as I should.

Guilt that I am not being the best mummy in the world to Ava.  I feel like a lot of the time because I am trying to rest and take it a little easier that she is the one that loses out.  I feel there are so many things I want to be doing and experiencing with her and I feel bad and frustrated that I just don't seem to do them.

Guilt that I am not spending the time connecting to this little growing girl inside of me.  I am not appreciating each little kick like I did with Ava.  The time seems to be speeding by and it is only in a rare moment of quiet that I get to focus on her and what she may be like and what she will look like.  I feel bad for that, that I should be putting in this effort as she is such a blessing and I am so thankful for her.  I want her to know how much we love her already.

And finally guilt that Jonny has to deal with me: once all my patience has been sapped from me; when my hormones seem all over the shop and my mood is terrible; when I have no energy to do anything.  I want to be the best wife in the world because that man deserves it.  He works hard and doesn't get told enough around these parts how much we appreciate it and don't take it for granted.

It is the guilt that gets to me.  I just want to give all these people that I love the best and at the moment my best is not that high up there.  Hopefully just time, quality time away will fit everything back together and rid me of some of this guilt because all I can do is my best anyway.

* I am documenting my pregnancy this time through vlogs.
Check them out here

Monday, 21 July 2014


As though this is Ava's pool bag, I wish...but here are some of the things that Ava needs down at the pool.  If it was up to her she would just take her favourite toy down with her, a musical train, so maybe not.

This is just a post about what we take down and little tips and tricks we have learnt from experience.

Friday, 18 July 2014


Ava loves helping with chores, I know I am on to a winner here.  Her favourite is the washing and as soon as it plays that little tune to say it has finished she is pulling me by the hand to come and sort it out with her.

Here are some photos I took the other day of her helping.  And the look of pride on her face when it is all sorted, well I wish I had managed to catch that on my phone.

She also likes to hoover; dust; wipe the table; fold washing which is more like scrunching the clean washing; and bossing Jonny around telling him how to do things properly not just his way.  This makes me laugh so hard because I have been doing the same thing for over eight years, so I am glad there is someone to finally take over my role ;)

This weekend we are doing chores and errands and celebrating Jonny's Dad's 60th birthday.  So a full on weekend.  Hope you are all going to have lovely weekends too...

Happy weekend everyone!

Wednesday, 16 July 2014


because he understands and doesn't ask questions 
when I ask him to buy doughnuts on the way home
but just buys them.

Also he keeps our fridge stocked with coca cola
and made me dinner the last couple of nights.

I am living the dream I tell you.
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